“Tears” by Frederick Buechner

Jan, at Yearning for God (see link below), recently quoted Frederick Buechner (one of my favorite writers) on the subject of tears:

"You never know what may cause tears. The sight of the Atlantic Ocean can do it, or a piece of music, or a face you’ve never seen before. A pair of somebody’s old shoes can do it. Almost any movie made before the great sadness that came over the world after the the Second World War, a horse cantering across a meadow, the high school basketball team running out onto the gym floor at the start of a game. You can never be sure. But of this you can be sure. Whenever you find tears in your eyes, especially unexpected tears, it is well to pay the closest attention.

"They are not only telling you something about the secret of who you are, but more often than not God is speaking to you through them of the mystery of where you have come from and is summoning you to where, if your soul is to be saved, you should go to next."

I am sure I have read this quote in the past, since I have read almost everything Buechner has written, but I don’t remember reading it. Nevertheless, Jan’s quoting of it has caused me to reflect off and on about Buechner’s words for almost three months.

You see, by nature, tears come easily to me, perhaps too easily. I have found myself tearing up when reading a book, watching a TV show or movie, or when listening to a particularly stirring piece of music or song. Even some commercials have brought moisture to my eyes, and I’m not talking just about those hokey holiday ones either. And so lately I have been asking myself what these tears might say about who I am and what God might be saying to me through them.

In the last few months I have found myself teary-eyed (or more) at the following times or situations:

At the end of a romantic comedy when the couple, who, after having gone through the requisite troubles and trials, finally find themselves together despite all the odds against them.
When listening to Jim’s last sermon at First United Methodist Church.
Watching my daughter perform at the last choral concert of the school year this past June.
At the beginning of Obama’s acceptance speech at the DNC last night.
While praying for my church.
Looking through some of the items in one of my “Memory Boxes.”
At the funeral for a church member I really didn’t know all that well.
Thinking about my dad and his health, which has not been good this past year.

And these are just some of the times/situations. I could list quite a few more given the time or inclination. Now I realize that by now some may thinking that I am a real crybaby, while others may be thinking that this is not very manly of me – to either cry or admit to such, but neither of those “thoughts” trouble me in the least. Instead, I’d really like to know what it is that these tears are telling me. Are they telling me that I value my family greatly? I already know that. That I am a romantic at heart? Ditto. That death is pain-full even when it touches us only slightly, or loss is much the same, or that I care about my church and my nation. Again, ditto, ditto, ditto.

Is there more, though? Is God speaking to me through my tears, and if so, what is God saying? I wish I knew. I really do.